Indescribable;;

Friday, December 15, 2006: memories

i've been reading some of my past entries; i can still remember when i wrote some of them, i can still remember the feelings that i carried with them. the joy, sorrow, anger, love, satire. reading them now brings me so much laughter and sadness. alot of things have changed in the past 2 years - some good, some bad. i guess alot of things have spiraled out of my control, all i can do is just to leave it to God now, to let Him do the damage control and healing. on the other hand, i must also glorify and thank Him for bringing so much joy and hope into my life this past period. looking at the past, i must admit that alot of times i try to solve my own problems, to make my own decisions, to choose the course of my life. alot of those times, i have failed, or made some mistake in the process.

i think next year is going to be the next big change in my life. its going to be the point where i cross over, to become a proper young adult. turning 18, starting uni, leading in winter camp. life is going to be so different, not what i remember it to be; simple, young, innocent(-er). life is going to be daunting, complete with more fears, more worries, more sorrows. but you know what? there's going to be a truck load of jubilation, laughter and excitement. i just need to leave everything into God's big and mighty hands, and stop trying to take everything into my own small narrow perspective, so that i can finally enjoy the plan God has made out of my life.

You stood before my failures
You carried the cross for my shame
my sin weighed upon Your shoulders
my soul now to stand

so what can i say
what can i do
but offer this heart oh God
completely to You

so i'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe of the One who gave it all
so i'll stand my soul all to You surrendered
all i am is Yours
The Stand - Hillsong United

a shout of praise.
3:13 AM